The end

As it says in all the best novels when it came the end was swift.

A great practice session saw me going faster at Mallory than I have ever been. I was 4th on the grid 0.3 secs away from pole. On the outside of the grid and feeling confident. Strangely enough all the talk in the paddock (or at least my talk) was about whether to change my car next season. Frankly I got so much contradictory advice I was more confused than when I first came to Mallory in 2002, for my first ever race.

A poor start meant I could not get past Dave Lowe as had been my intention – obviously I suppose. Steve Pearce got past me at Gerrards on the first lap but I still felt pacy and racy (!). An attempt to get up the inside of Steve ended with him banging my front wheel which was a sufficient deterrent on that occasion. On the next lap I went round the outside of him at the hairpin and was in to 4th. Then at Gerrards I tried a very ambitious manoeuvre on Dave which was never going to work. A serious sideways moment lost me a couple of feet but I knew I could get past him.

So we all flew out of Gerrards at about 6000revs in 4th. I guess this equates to about 100mph. The next deceleration point is at the Esses where I suspect speeds of around 120 are likely. Unfortunately before we got there Paul Walton, in the lead, and Simon Davey (trying to be) got very close (this caused much dispute later but one of them did something wrong). Simon’s ensuing trip on the grass spun him around straight back on to the track and I t-boned him at an enormous speed.

Three thoughts – expense, pain, retirement.

Pain. I was unable to move much at first due to the severity of the impact but the presence of a marshal got me to undo my belts and limp away. Now as I write this two weeks later I am still struggling with a badly bruised/swollen foot that got jammed against the pedals. This caused me to twist my left knee which remains unenthusiastic about being bent. And my back, despite a chiropractors best efforts, aches most of the time. I suspect it will all get better eventually.

Expense. Not much to say but probably a very big bill but the car will be lovely at the end of it thanks to the wizardry of Bernard.

Retirement. Almost before I hit Simon I knew this was the decisive factor which would make me stop. I have had too many accidents to carry on. Every time I got in the car I thought something was going to go wrong and I seemed completely unable to control my destiny due to others driving behaviour. In truth I have had some spectacular bangs but only one was completely my fault. My injuries have been mercifully minor but the speed at which the framework that is my body repairs itself is slowing up – to a worrying extent.

When Marion came to see me in the medical centre we both knew it was all over. Even now I do not doubt this decision. It has made me sad but it also seems right and I should accept fate’s message. I should add at this point that Marion has been absolutely brilliant throughout the ups and downs of the five seasons of racing. Despite the level of investment, the danger and my tedious introspection she has always allowed me to take whatever decision seemed right. She has been simply marvellous and I have not deserved her generosity, nor expressed my thanks enough.

So how would I sum up my career as a racing driver?
- Most intense experience and bloody good fun
- Expensive
- Too much agonising not enough enjoyment of the pleasure
- I should have tested more but it is so boring (and costly).
- Couple of class wins
- Led a few races
- Not good at seeing yellow flags
- Quick but inconsistent


And in my final race I knew that I was back to my pre-Brands spectacular accident level of skill and with a bit of luck I was going to win a race until…………..

Mallory tomorrow

Hassle at home, hassle at work - and really not looking forward to the day.

Nashed

This passage could tell you all about the weather in Wales, the grumpiness of the bar staff in a local Pembrey pub or how the £20 tent from Sainsburys leaked. But no I must tell you about being nashed.

After my massive (no exaggeration) crash at Brands in 2004 I spent a fortune getting the car repaired and my first race back in the driving seat was again at Brands. A very cautious drive saw me somewhere just outside the top 10 and an overtaking manoeuvre which took me past one Jon Nash. At the next corner I kept to the outside as I wondered if Jon would try to retake the place with a courageous passing attempt. Unfortunately this resulted in him locking up his wheels and understeering into my virtually brand new car. Not much was said in the paddock………….

So to Pembrey. One year on. In qualifying Jon had taken avoiding action after Alan Williamson had spun and comprehensively bent his nearside front suspension. Bernard was able to fix the damage, just, in time for the race but he was some way back on the grid. The start at Pembrey is always a little fraught but if you survive the first corner it is a brilliant circuit to drive. I did survive the first corner although I lost a few places in the melee as being on the inside prevents virtually any action apart from following the car in front.

At the end of the first lap I began the run down to the hairpin at the end of the pits straight taking the normal outside line. Just before turning in I heard the unmistakable sound of tyres screeching on tarmac as someone to my rear locked up their wheels. With a desire to stay in one piece uppermost in my mind I did not turn in but then saw a blue car containing the aforementioned Jon Nash launch itself over my rear AND front wheel and come to a painful halt. Undaunted he decided to carry on despite me pointing to his damaged radiator and the loss of fluid from this essential piece of kit. (After 3 0r 4 laps his engine was pouring out so much blue smoke he came in – a big engine bill seems likely)

After he had moved on from the scene of the crime I gingerly accelerated but there was an obvious handling deficiency meaning the steering wheel was pointing to 2 o’clock whilst on the straight. I was considering continuing regardless until a right hander allowed me to be covered with water from my own buckled radiator. Game over. Into the pits. 90 seconds of racing after a whole weekend at a wet, windswept and desolate circuit.

And then there will be the bill.

So the balance sheet reads:

Positives – absolutely none
Negatives – loads.

In fairness to Jon he apologised at the track and by text the next day. Very rudely perhaps I have not responded but I am completely unable to think of something useful to say.

Undone by the weather

The plans to go early for testing at Pembrey were scuppered by the weather. To allow for any form of comparison the track would need to be dry and all week the weather has been destined to be wet. So Bernard and I called it off. I probably would have still gone but for the fact that the test was Friday (meaning a Thursday arrival) and then have to hang around until Sunday.

Bernard has had to replace the starter motor and the head gasket after the travails at Snetterton but the high temperatures of the engine do not seem to have left any residual effects. Hopefully.

So as I load the car with tents, umbrellas, wellies etc I wonder what is in store for me. Really the ambition would be to have finished the race and feel that I had done well, that this was reflected in the results and enjoy the post race chat. We shall see.

Going backwards

It is right to say that if you are going to get overtaken repeatedly it is much better to be nearer the front so that the end result does not quite look so painful. But it is also true that being overtaken is horrible. So this is the story of a long day at Snetterton.

An early start from home as the normal pre-race nights sleep was punctuated by wakefulness and then eyes wide open at 5ish. As ever all was ready to go on arrival at the circuit and I decided I would be first out on the track to give myself a little more time. Two other guys (Simon Davey and Oliver Robinson) went past almost immediately but the former knows the circuit as well as anyone and the other had been testing on Friday.

I was taking it steadily and started to build up speed but my turning in was generally too early This feels rather like a novices error (although one I commit all the time) and has something to do with thinking it will be too late and you will not make it around the corner. My times did get quicker but I was stuck around the 1.20.2 mark when I came upon the ever helpful Roger Newman who towed me all the way down the back straight. Suddenly I had taken a second off my time and I was 3rd on the grid - and chuffed - but knowing this was a bit of a lucky break.

The gap between qualifying and the race was such that I watched the Grand Prix and had a doze. My starter motor almost packed up but Bernard held onto it and allowed the car to start and we formed up on the grid. A reasonable start saw me hold my place with a bit of a gap to the following cars and Davey and Robinson, yes them again, got pretty close to each other - with me alongside them down the back straight. Slowly though they pulled away and my temperature gauge started to climb. I was almost in touch when Robinson spun excitingly at Riches causing me to completely lose Simon. Whilst I was in second for a while it was not to last.

Over the next few laps Steve Hare, Paul Walton and finally David Penlington got past me.

And now is the time for the touch of arrogance that one needs as a racing driver but is not something I am comfortable with. I do not believe I could have made the car go much faster. I never have a perfect lap but I simply could not stay on terms with anyone who went past me and when the lap times appeared after the race I was again off the front runners pace by at least a second. The gauge was showing 110 degrees on occasions but did fluctuate quite wildly and I wondered if the gauge was faulty rather than the engine overheating. I decided to keep going until the oil pressure disappeared - but this appeared relatively stable and I was still 4th or 5th.

Of course the race was then stopped (wrongly, when the marshalls overeacted to a car which spun but then continued) after 6 laps and as you take the positions on the previous lap I was 4th and David Penlington, who was actually in front of me, was relegated one place.

Now 4th is a great result but there were 10 drivers with a faster time than me. So either I am getting slower or it is the car - and I really think it is the car. At one point I followed Steve Hare through a corner and I braked in the same place, took the same line but he just drove away and left me scrabbling. All drivers must want to blame their tools but I just have to believe it is not me. Confidence could be an issue and I admit that when cars are close to me I am still a little cautious but I was charging around coners with all my old bravado so this was not the problem.

This does leave me with a simple choice. If it is me - I will give up as I cannot carry on without some hope of winning. My problem is finding out and so Bernard is going to try the car at Pembrey and let me have his wise diagnosis. If Bernard is positive about the car and testing does not get me going more swiftly it may be that I shall admit defeat sometime soon.

At least I only have to wait a couple of weeks before I can have another go.